So feel free to inform me of my mistakes.
This is for darkeyedwolf. I took a few logical steps away from the spirit of the request, you pervert.
Luffy’s roar of laughter broke through the rare occurrence of a silent collection of minutes on the ship. This was followed by a horrified yelp and the frantic pounding of small hooves on the deck until a small blur ran into the room, opened a cupboard door, and slammed it shut after jumping inside.
Robin closed the book she had been reading and pushed back her chair as Sanji stopped chopping up carrots and wiped his hands off. Hearing a collection of footsteps climbing the stairs, they waited. Through the door scrambled Luffy, who was struggling and red-faced, and Usopp, who had clapped his hands over Luffy’s mouth. Behind them Nami came striding in, holding rolled up posters in her hand and biting on her lower lip to keep the amusement clear in her eyes from becoming audible.
She looked questioningly around the room until Sanji nodded his head to the cupboard that was now being used as a hiding place.
Keeping herself under control, she walked over and crouched in front of the cupboard.
“Chopper?” she inquired quietly. Muffled sounds of breathing were the only reply she received.
“It’s not as bad as you think, really.”
Still no answer.
Usopp bent down next to Nami, taking Luffy with him and cramming the negotiation space.
“Chopper, it’s okay. We’ll get through this together, I promise!”
After waiting for a reply that did not come, Usopp continued. “But you have to come out first.”
“No!” Chopper yelled.
Sanji delicately tapped Nami on the shoulder and gave her a questioning look. She put a finger to her lips and unrolled one poster, handing it to him. He took it from her and held it out so both he and Robin could see.
His first reaction was to be impressed. Chopper now had his own wanted poster—and no shabby amount either. Surely he wasn’t upset about /that/. He continued to peruse the picture and still saw nothing out of the ordinary when Robin whispered “ah” and stepped back, apparently no longer needing to look.
“What is it?” Sanji asked quietly.
Nami sighed and stood up. She directed Sanji to come closer with her finger and said in a voice he could barely make out: “That picture was taken when Chopper lost his pants. Remember?”
Sanji looked back down at the poster. “Oh,” he mouthed. True to Nami’s words, Chopper was without pants in the picture. It was very possible Chopper saw himself as nude in the poster if judged by the standards of one living as a reindeer and a man.
Luffy, who had broken away from Usopp as he continued pleading with Chopper, popped back up on his feet and joined the conversation.
“So that’s why he got upset,” and in some cultures where people live under rushing waterfalls and blast horns to greet each other his manner of speaking would have been considered a whisper but it was sadly booming among the people he was talking with at that moment.
There were a few ineffective hisses for him to be quiet, though all too late as Chopper let out another anguished cry from within the cupboard. Nami thwacked Luffy on the head with the posters still in her hand.
“Why were you laughing if you didn’t know?”
Luffy blinked. “A funny-looking squid in the background of one of the posters.”
“One of the posters?” Sanji inquired but no one answered him.
As everyone regrouped to begin another attempt to get Chopper out of hiding, Zoro joined their efforts. Wordlessly, he pushed through the crowd and sat down in front of the cupboard.
“Chopper,” he began in a commanding tone.
There a sniffle. Then: “yes?”
“You’re a pirate now. A man. You have to be able to handle these hardships as they come.”
“I know,” he said in a very small, despondent tone.
Zoro relaxed into something of a sprawl. “And anyway, you saw Sanji’s poster, right?”
Sanji gaped, then looked at Nami.
“One of those posters is mine?” he asked frantically.
“—and you’re worth way more than he is.”
Losing his cigarette with a sputter, Sanji tore the poster from Nami’s hand. And he cried out in anguish at the relatively small amount of money the government had seen fit to put on his head.
A moment later Zoro opened the cupboard door and Chopper stumbled out. His face was red and he attempted to remain frowning and stern.
“I didn’t come out just because you complimented me and called me a man,” he said and then gave himself away with a grin.
Note: I imagine this takes place after the current arc so I purposely made the boat setting sketchy.